As I'm asexual, sex with my boyfriend is rare, and by sex I mean hands and mouths only - I'm a virgin and that's how it's going to stay. While he never expects sex and doesn't mind this at all, I do like to 'treat' him sometimes, as it is quite an intimate experience which I feel is nice to share from time to time. However, when my boyfriend tries to reciprocate that, we don't really get anywhere. I usually have to ask him to stop because, while he really wants to give me pleasure, I know nothing's going to come of it. This has never, ever been an issue. I never feel disappointed when this happens and I really don't mind; it's my boyfriend that gets upset when he finds he can't satisfy me.
Before I was circumcised a few years ago, I had no problem with feelings during sexy times, despite being asexual. I lost these feelings after the operation. As a joke, a friend bought me some lube for a birthday. While bored, I gave it a go anyway, and it was great! I never tried it afterwards because I've never really felt like it, but just recently it got me thinking. If I were to get some, my boyfriend would be able to give me this satisfaction like he's always wanted to.
Here's my issue: because of the non-sexual relationship I have with my partner, I feel very odd and uncomfortable even thinking about speaking to him about this kind of thing. I would feel almost selfish bringing it up, and I know he's not really interested enough in sex to spend money on it. I feel that the relationship we have is just too good to be spoiled by bringing sex any further into it, yet I sort of yearn to be able to be part of what does happen.
I'm worried that mentioning this, or saying it the wrong way, could slightly change our relationship, or that I might come across as selfish or something. So should I bother? What should I say, and how should I say it? I know this seems quite trivial, but with such a perfect relationship, I need to make sure I do this right.
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The only universally acknowledged truth is that Tom Nook is a dick.
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